7 Steps on How to Save a Relationship

Jim works long hours and Lisbet doesn’t feel he is there for her. Lisbet spends all of her time meeting the children’s needs and Jim feels that she doesn’t have time for his needs? Can this relationship be saved? Should it be saved? Here’s how to save a relationship.

You must decide if it`s worth it to save the relationship. While almost every relationship can be saved with hard work, both parties must decide that they want to make it work. Because if a partner has opted out and doesn’t want to opt back in, there is little that can be done. So many times people stay in the marriage or relationship because of the children. But that is not enough. If you both have decided that the relationship is worth saving you need to start with a commitment . Next, you must pinpoint the problem or problems in a relationship.

One of the biggest problems in how to save a relationship is that people believe the symptoms of the problem are the problem itself. For instance, many people think an affair is a problem that causes break ups. In truth, the affair is a symptom of a deeper problem. A lack of intimacy is very dangerous and can lead to spouse that strays. The underlying cause of an affair is lack of intimacy, but many times people see the affair as the problem. If you do not deal with the lack of intimacy, you might be able to keep another affair from starting through the use of guilt, but another problem (for instance pornography) could pop up because you haven’t dealt with the core issue. When you start to deal with core issues rather than symptoms, you can save the relationship.

Once you have identified the core problems, you can begin to share your thoughts. This means both verbalizing your own feelings and listening to your partner’s concerns. Showing your partner that you want to reconnect, take their hand when you are talking through your problems. When your partner talks about things that hurt you remember that he or she is not doing it because he or she wants to hurt you.

Once you have detailed the problems in your relationship, create an action plan to solve them. Then, take concrete steps on your action plan. You need to plan a date night once a week, if you don`t spend time together like you once did. Get your creative juices flowing and take turns creating interesting ways to spend an evening. Try spending 20 minutes together before bed, just talking, if communication needs to be rekindled. And, then do it.

Saving a relationship is a process and will take some time. You are going to take two steps forward only to take one step back. In the weeks and months ahead there will be many laughs and tears. Be quick to apologize and slow to blame.

Is your relationship worth saving? If so, I’ve described in this article how to save a relationship.